Many of us have known troublesome times. Each week messages come from people I’ve never met, vulnerably describing the distress that occupies their lives. I often wish they could believe more fully in their inner strength. It is for this reason that I share the following excerpts from “Facing Hardships,” Chapter Two of my new book, Fly While You Still Have Wings, the memoir of my resilient mother. May her approach to tough times be an encouragement for others.
“Where do we find the courage to maintain confidence, to stay with what tries insistently to trample our spirit? How do we continue to keep the flame of hope alive in a corner of our heart when hardship strains to snuff it out? If I were to name one book that most enabled me to meet life’s challenges it would be Man’s Search for Meaning. In this book Viktor Frankl records his brutal experience as a prisoner in the death camp at Auschwitz. Through the years I’ve returned often to this vivid portrayal of survival amid appalling, inhumane conditions. While in this desolate camp Frankl became convinced that everything can be taken from a person “but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
My mother’s life held nothing comparable to Frankl’s desperate years in Auschwitz but she did have significant hardships and she chose how to meet them. The struggles that came her way reflect those of others living in the Great Depression and the following years fraught with struggle. During those tough times the majority of people knew some element of poverty as they attempted to exist with a minimum of necessities. This was true of my mother’s situation before and after she married. Only in the last two decades of her life did she manage to free herself from financial concerns.
When my mother faced hardship, she chose to rely on her inner fortitude. It proved to be one of her most worthy and necessary qualities when she took on the role of “mothering” her younger siblings, and four years later when she married my father, Lester P. Rupp, in 1937. Her positive attitude made a considerable difference. She surrendered to what was required, accepted ceaseless labor as a part of farm life and gave herself fully to it. In choosing this attitude, her resilience strengthened rather than weakened.
Adverse experiences can hone and strengthen innate resilience or they can infect this valuable quality with unresolved bitterness and anger. It is not uncommon to meet people who talk continually about hurts and misfortunes of the past. In doing so, this keeps them from seeing and enjoying the good their life currently holds.
Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning: “Between a stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” My mother never knew Viktor Frankl’s writing, but her attitude toward the difficult things in life attests to how she lived his philosophical beliefs. Rather than focus on the unwanted aspects, she chose to dwell on the worth within her life. This wisdom kept her spirit alive and positive as she aged.”
© Joyce Rupp
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