During the first years of being in my religious community I learned the Ignatian way to pray with a scripture passage: visualize the scene, mentally place myself in it, and connect the message to how I was to live. This valuable way to meditate stayed with me for years. Although I now meditate in a more contemplative way without mental visualization, from time to time I go back to that Ignatian method. I recently did so with the feast of Pentecost, which long ago I renamed, “the feast of personal transformation.”
I wish we’d been given more details about this event, especially regarding the presence of Mary, who was among those gathered when the Spirit came rocketing in with wild wind and fiery flames. Surely her presence nurtured their courage. After all, Mary knew the immense power of inner transformation from her experience three decades earlier when the angel whooshed into her life with a huge transformative request. I wonder if Mary urged those in the Upper Room, as the angel did of her, “Do not be afraid.”
Recently I gave considerable thought to how this Spirit of Transformation has affected my spiritual growth. Many of the changes have lifted my secure feet off their ponderous attitudes and helped me stretch more openly. While I’ve long been grateful for how this Spirit has been a source of inner guidance, I happily realized through my reflections that a lot of big changes came, not in meditation, but through other people—“angel Gabriels.”
Some of the “whooshing” changes include a first silent, directed retreat in my mid-20s’ (which I didn’t much care for in spite of a gracious retreat director). I griped to her: “You mean I can’t even talk at meals?” Learning the value of quieting both my outer and inner self was a big step toward being less self-oriented and more peaceful.
Twenty years later, I made a heart-changing 30 day retreat. I relished what I experienced. When it ended, I feared leaving the retreat and losing what I’d gained. The wise retreat director advised me to trust the Spirit, that I’d have what was needed for my life. Later that day in prayer, I had a powerful image of being carried over a deep chasm as I lay on the wide wings of a white bird. Ever since then, I have trusted the Holy One with my life.
A lot of Spirit-whooshings have challenged my false judgments: a compassionate pastor in a destitute Appalachian area re-tuned my “do-gooder” arrogance into one of learning from the people I visited; I left my strong homophobia behind after a lesbian woman full of goodness came to me for spiritual guidance; when I met a transgender person for the first time, her story helped me end my discomfort and lack of compassion; and a group of incarcerated women who shared their enthusiasm about changing their lives and wanting to grow spiritually led me to see imprisoned persons as human beings, not just entities whose choices had caused harm.
The list of persons who’ve been my catalysts of spiritual growth would fill many pages. They’ve assisted me in moving further away from a judgmental self toward a more understanding and kind one.
What about you? What catalysts of Spirit-whooshing have activated your transformation?
Abundant peace,
Joyce Rupp
